Is this for my mouth teeth or my vagina teeth?

End Times

The meeting of the Tigres and Euphrates may be the beginning and end of Western Civilization.

Ye Ol' Mongoloid

Checked out the Devo last Tuesday. Topped it off with a bacon wrapped hot dog. These things are better than Alki seltzer. Here's how they cure a hangover: The dog itself is a shot of sodium, followed up with grease to nutralize the alcohol.  Next is the bacon, more salt and grease, plus a hit of sugar. Then the roll acts like a giant sponge. It effectively removes the booze outta your system and you're good to go the next day at 5AM

But back to Devo, they're originals, with the showman ship of a well oiled Vegas show, but with kick ass songs.

Alpine Village Octoberfest

Um, it was weirdly fun. I can only describe it as a perverted American version of Octoberfest, a pep rally for beer drinking. A giant hall, full of long tables with people in lederhosen or Torrance garb, drinking to a kareoke sounding oompa pa band. You can bring your own stein, and many folks had giant glass boots, which prompted calls of, "Das Boot!"
Being close to Hawaiian Gardens, all the security was Samoan, and all the hired ladies in dirndls looked like strippers. Hello ...frauline Jasmine. We even saw one in a stripper military uniform who we christened SexySSDominique.

All the activities were fairly easy to do, or not do, while holding a beer, chicken dance, clapping, swinging a handkerchief, swineflu-conga-line, coupla rounds of Happy Birthday singing, and stein holding.

Here are a few shots, whats up with the sweatband? Don't wanna lose your grip on your stein?

Soul Savin' Indie Rock

The sexually charged, morbidly religious asthetic of Flannery O'Connor is replicated in the revival like shows of Slim Cessna's Autoclub.

Wickedly entertaining to watch Cafe Du Nord transform from a basement full o' hipsters, into a baptist style tent meeting, complete with jumping up and down, faces and fists thrust towards the heavens. Whipped into a faithless frenzy by a great band and dramatically ambiguous singers' play off one another. The songs are big, original and catchy.

Mama likes

Can I get a Yee Haw

Went to the fair Friday, here's what I ate: 5 Beers, fried chili cheese tamale, corn dog, frozen chocolate dipped banana, pulled pork sandwich with cole slaw and beans, hand dipped ice cream bar, fried oreos, dust. Relatively conservative consumption for me.

Did 5 laps on the ski lift, sat in a Prius, walked through the garden center and the barnyard. Listened to a hillbilly call a goat birth, play by play. Chatted with the hot tub salesman.

No more Winter Wonderland, which sucks. But I did get to eat my pork sandwich while watching people take turns on a mechanical bull.

Friend hole

Yep, I'm one of the hold outs, not gonna join myface. But I will blog, because isn't that really the essence of friend hole, to feature yourself?

Healthcare handcuffs

Our insurance industry has made a mess of health care, and it looks like my representatives are about to hand them even more power by mandating the purchase of health insurance for every American.

The Romney solution has not done anything to better health care for Massachusettes, it has only served to further burden the working class. Lets not spread a failed policy to all the other 49 states.

We have a government run health care system that works, medicare. That is the plan we should be expanding to every American.

Please stand up for a single payer system.

Why aren’t Zombies sexy? A think aloud

Zombies need instant gratification, like a dog that humps your leg or a masturbating monkey; no time for seduction like those smoldering vampires who’ve been waiting centuries just, for, YOU. These days zombies run around in packs, shrieking and flailing about, like goddamned frat boys in Ensenada; not a lonely, misunderstood Frankenstein monster trudging through his weary existence. A zombie’s only concern is eating brains, they don’t care that they’re zombies, unlike the tortured werewolf, whose self-loathing makes you want to hold him like a baby as he shudders back into his human form. Mummies aren’t sexy either, but they were once royalty, so you at least want them to notice you. Zombies aren’t mummies, their dummies. Anyone who survives a zombie outbreak does so by being a smart, fearless, risk taker, able to cast off interpersonal relationships at the sound of a door splintering, ...just like life.

Dead Weather dither dather

Saw the Dead Weathers the other night, a very studied and learned rock n roll appearance, songs unmemorable.

To be fair, I did go twice. First at the Mayan, which was better; then to the Kimmel show. Both were freebies (thanks Jeff). Only the ax wielder seemed to be enjoying himself.

Sometimes I eat phallic foods

There's more, but you get the idea.